I Have The Fire

I can be quite a stubborn person when I want to be. I like things to go my way. Doesn't everyone? It's so dang easy to slip into the I want's. I want a lot of things. I want to stop world hunger. I want to be able to do a cartwheel.
And I want to get my writing published.
Two out of three of these things won't happen without a lot of help, time, and research. (Oh, and probably some gymnastics lessons would help, too.)
But I can slip into discouragement so fast. One minute I can be typing away, and the next I wonder why I'm even writing this book in the first place. Those teeny, tiny voices in my head whisper, "Why are you trying? It's not like anyone's going to care what you have to say. Who would want to read this? A two-year-old could write better than you." Those voices make me hang my head and lose hope. Sometimes for a little while, sometimes for hours.
But those voices can't put out the fire in my heart.
I'm 76.9% sure I was born with that writing fire. I wrote stories and stories, loving how these characters were in my control. Or the control of my barely-sharpened glitter pencil. One of the two. That fire's never left me long. Sometimes it leaves for a few days. Sometimes for a few weeks. But it always comes back. Some moments I'm itching to get to the keyboard and pour myself into this story. And sometimes I dread going into Willow's world. But in the end, I still have that fire. Sometimes I throw some water on that fire by looking at my old works. Those rough drafts put a frown on my face. But then it sparks up again, and a steady flame is burning again.

I don't suspect that fire will ever leave me.

--Mandy